My body knew before the news told us.
Late Sunday night, I felt dizzy and listed to the left when I got up to use the bathroom. It happened a second time, a little worse. In the morning, before yoga, when I bent down to dry my hair, I felt really dizzy.
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This week one of my oldest and dearest friends has embarked on an incredibly courageous journey, called VSED (voluntarily stopping eating and drinking) as she has rapidly increasing Alzheimer’s disease, saw what it did to her father and her as she cared for him, and did not want that for her family or herself.
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Gunshots, Covid, polarized politics, Chinese balloons, war and earthquakes, floods and fires, unbridled rage--it’s quite literally in the air these days.
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When I was growing up, and even into my young adulthood, I was not interested in pursuing information about my ancestry. Of course, I knew that I was born of 2nd generation Polish and Italian parents, but in the 50’s and even longer there was great prejudice against both ethnicities, causing me to feel shame about my heritage. Some areas in West Hartford, CT, a town in which I attended a private Catholic girls’ high school, banned those of Italian background from buying homes there.
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The weight of the world feels so intense, and I am so tangled in it.
I just completed a half-day online mindfulness retreat and boy, did I ever relate to that reflection. I’d recently finished Ben Rhodes’s After the Fall: Being American in the World We’ve Made, described by The New York Times book review as Rhodes “going out into the world to understand how it has become such an illiberal authoritarian mess.” He feels we, as a country, particularly due to the invasion of Iraq and the 2008 banking collapse, are largely responsible for “disseminating the toxins that now infuse the world.
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